This article is from page 9 of the 2011-08-16 edition of The Clare People. OCR mistakes are to be expected so download the original SWF or the rendered page 9 JPG
“BUT generally I think it is to do with the place that that we are living, the expectations that we have for life and how things – like the recession – are affecting that,” said ACCORD counselling manager Stephen Cummins.
“Things like the recession have put people under a lot of pressure – not just financial pressure but also time pressure if someone is out there trying to make ends meet or save a business.
“A lot of times, couples who had been working hard through the good years have found that they have been thrown back together, with one or both losing their job. If people are in each other’s faces more often than they had been before, that can be a very awkward situation for them – something that can take a bit of getting used to.”
A total of 12 local relationship counsellors are employed at the ACCORD office on Harmony Row in Ennis. The service is open to all couples – both married and unmarried – who feel that their relationship would benefit from some professional help.
Besides the effects of the recession, distrust brought about by one partner’s activities online is the fastest growing cause of marital instability, according to ACCORD. With many people unemployed and finding themselves with spare time and the widespread availiblity of broadband enabling people to browse online, the temptations here can cause unrest, says Stephen.
“People can be attracted into it quite innocently but the danger is that it can take over your life. It can be very innocent – people going online to buy things without really realising that they cannot afford it, for example.
“The problem is when this becomes a secret compulsion, and a wife or husband is not aware that their spouse is going online and spending money,” continued Stephen.
Recent reports nationally suggest that online gambling and addictions to internet pornography are having detrimental effects on marriages – most likely, says Stephen, because couples do not discuss their problems.
“Communication is the real key. Real communication can help a couple to deal with an awful lot of other difficulties. But if you can’t communicate properly together, how can you deal with other issues? People can take each other for granted – but they just need to realise that no one has the perfect marriage and everybody needs to work at it,” he added.
ACCORD is the largest relationship counselling agency in Ireland. Their Ennis offices can be contacted on 065 6824297.